I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
