can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
