I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
