Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
