The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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