Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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