last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
