he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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