Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
