he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just puked most of my soul out..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
