so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
