we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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