Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
