Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize