My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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