would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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