I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
