I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
