i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
