Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize