If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize