i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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