I bet he comes in French.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
This is the high leading the old right now
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
