I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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