I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
