spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
