hotel room ftw
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
