omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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