i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
