Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
