I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
