If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
