I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
