I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
