Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
