look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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