It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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