May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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