where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
