I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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