dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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