So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
