Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
