I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
