when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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