I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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