she woke up with a sticky ear
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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