just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
