I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
how drunk are you?
Several
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
