I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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