I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize