Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
