I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
