Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
