im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She told me I should be a condom model.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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