ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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