You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you win again, gameday.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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