i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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