covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
