Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
