there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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