Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have fence marks all over my body
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
