Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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