So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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