There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
