his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize