you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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