If that was your dad, he is hot
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
