So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she looked like the before picture.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
