She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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