the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
