I was born with a shot glass in my hand
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
