yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize