I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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