It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
