I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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