i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
tell me about the fingering
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
